My Life As A Stori

I know, I know, I was supposed to finish up the story of how I got this way but I had such a weird morning that I felt the need to share.  Deal with it.

So I woke up this morning…or afternoon…maybe evening - I don’t really have any sense of time here so we’ll just call it morning.  Anyway, I woke up to see nothing but blackness and a big red fire truck sitting in the middle of all that blackness.  Then, I watched the fire truck start rolling and it stopped in front of a red fire hydrant that appeared out of nowhere.  After that, a red hose started unraveling from the fire truck and connected to the fire hydrant.  The next second, all that just vanished and I found myself staring at an orange just sort of floating in the blackness, followed by an orange plate that popped up under the orange, and ending that round with an orange table conveniently appearing to support the orange on the plate.

Are we sensing a theme here, yet?

That stuff faded into nothing as quickly as the first and I was then looking at a yellow bee.  I followed the bee’s flight pattern through the darkness until it landed on a yellow flower which suddenly decided it needed to be growing in a yellow pot.  Next, of course, came the greens.  There was a green snake slithering through some green grass beneath a green road sign.  The blues started with a blue egg that then got sat on by a blue bird (though isn’t it robins that are supposed to lay blue eggs???) beneath a blue sky, which, I might add, was a nice change from the black background I had previously been staring at.  Of course,  it went back to black as soon as the purples started, skipping indigo entirely.  I watched as a purple crown was placed on a purple pillow and presented to a king wearing purple robes.  At least there was a person in this scenario!

Wanna know what happened next?  The whole darn thing started all over again, then again, and again.  I believe I learned the colors of the rainbow (minus indigo because little kids don’t learn that one right away) twelve times before the madness finally stopped.  Wanna know why?  Yeah, ya do - it’s because my idiot little brother managed to sneak into my room, or hospital room, or secret lab, or maybe I have my own little viewing room somewhere in the middle of town (I can see it now: “Come see your favorite book turned into a movie!  No rewrites, no alterations, no cheezy effects - just the way it’s written! Only $29.99!”), wherever I am, and put one of his stupid little kid books in front of me.  I mean, I get tortured enough as it is without his help.  Besides that, shouldn’t he be actually reading his own books?  If he just puts it in front of me so he can see it on a screen then he’s not really learning.  My parents really need to keep a better eye on him (no offense, mom and dad, but it’s true).

Ugh, see, now I’ve already used up my blogging time.  I’m sure you’re starting to get the idea by now about my situation.  I promise tomorrow I’ll finish up the history lesson about my life.  After that, I’ll really let you see I live…

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